Let’s be real, friendships come and they go. But we all know our best friends will remain forever. Right..? That’s not always the case. Maybe your bestie moved to a new city and you guys barely talk anymore. Or there was a blow out fight and there’s no way in sight to fix it. Either way, friendships come and they go. Losing a best friend is just as painful, if not more than losing a romantic partner. It’s also less talked about. We’ve gotten so okay with the fact that friendships end and are replaceable that we just don’t talk about it. But now its time too..
You have to respect their decision to not be your friend anymore. – If someone doesn’t want to be your friend anymore, that’s their choice. You can’t force anyone to be your friend or to even stay friends with you. Trying too hard can make the entire situation worse and can do more harm than good. But take a minute and ask yourself whether or not you would want to be friends with someone who would rather throw your friendship away, than talk about what’s bothering them and potentially fix it.
It’s not only your loss, it’s theirs as well. – Remember you’re not the only one losing a friend. Your friend is losing you as well. You have to tell yourself and believe that your friendship is valuable and people should be lucky to have someone like you in their life. As much as you may be hurting, they are as well. You shouldn’t only feel sorry for this loss, they should too. If you meant that much to each other it’ll hurt on both ends. Remember it’s not only you that lost a friend.
Realize that people change – Change is a constant part of life and there is no way for you to stop it. You have to look at it this way, maybe you both have changed and evolved into different people and the things that brought you together don’t exist anymore. You both are not the same person you were when y’all initially met and things are no longer the same. Your interest and priorities change and it’s hard to find the same time to dedicate to your friendship. Think about it this way, it’s better things end now than to keep pretending and putting up fronts that ya’ll are still friends.
Don’t burn a bridge that you may need to cross again. – at this point, you probably feel like your ex-bestie means nothing to you, and you’ll never speak to them again. That’s not always the case. None of us know the future and you may one day find yourself in a position where you may need them again or vice versa. To be honest, this person was once the closest thing to you. There’s no need to bad mouth them or bash them on social media. You may not get along now but who knows where y’all will be when its all said and done.
Take time. – There’s no quick fix to get over losing a best friend ! Let me say that one more time. THERE IS NO QUICK FIX TO GETTING OVER LOSING A BEST FRIEND ! A loss is still a loss. Time has a way of bringing clarity to most situations. You just have to find ways to get over it. You’re probably feeling a range of emotions and you have to find a healthy way to let it out. For example, you can write a letter, listen to music, work out, hang out with your other friends, read a book etc. What ever way you choose to cope is up to you, but these feelings have to come out in order for you to move on. You may also feel like the best thing to do is to forget they exist. I promise you it’s not ! Embrace the memories you made with them and the lessons they taught you. Realize that they helped contribute to the person that you are today and that everything happens for a reason. Something better is in the works for you and this is just something you had to go through to get there.
You have to accept it and let it go! – As I mentioned earlier, it was their decision not to be friends with you anymore and is something that you both have to accept and live with. It’s ultimately their loss ! When it comes to you having to deal with losing your best friend the simple answer is, you have to let it go. As cliche as it may be “if you love something let it go.” Why walk around carrying all these negative emotions and feelings. There’s no point. All it does is delay the healing process and make things more difficult. It’s possible that things we’re all your fault or your former bestie was wrong. Whatever it was, be able to forgive yourself and start over.
A friendship like any other relationship requires work. It also requires a certain balance to work. Things can’t always be your way or theirs. It takes dedication, communication, compromise and hard work to keep friendship alive and thriving. Sometimes things don’t always work out the way you want them too and you have to let go of the life plans you made with them. This breakup is also just as important as any other you’ve experienced , so don’t let anyone tell you different. Always remember your worst days only have 24 hours and you’re stronger than you think. You’ve gotten through worse &’ I’m sure you’ll get through this too. Stay Strong !
-The Not So Precious Gem