Lifestyle · Uncategorized

Outgrowing Friendships & Why Its Okay…

Throughout life we make friends. It’s almost impossible not to. We tend to gravitate towards people who are just like us. Or even people who are our complete opposites. Even the most anti social person on this planet has a circle of friends that they confide in and turn to when things go wrong. But sometimes life has a way of showing you who your real friends are. Not everyone is going to stick by you through everything. Situations are either going to pull you together or break you apart. But one thing I did notice, as we get older our friends change. We may have a few from childhood that are still around, but ultimately everything changes. Let me tell you why:

YOU’RE GOING IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS– Friendships tend to lose their spark once you don’t hold the same interest or values anymore. Sometimes the people you meet during a certain time in your life are supposed to just stay there. The friendship has served its purpose and it’s time to just let it go. If you guys were meant to be friends, your paths will cross again and everything will fall into place. But until then, walk away with the same happy feelings you had move on.

YOU WEREN’T REALLY FRIENDS TO BEGIN WITH – you were just acquaintances. We tend to give the wrong people the “friend” title when it wasn’t really a friendship to begin with. Actual friendships take years of sacrifice, fights and sharing anything and everything about each other. That’s what a real friendship is. If you just hang out with the same people, party and go out drinking, or text faithfully in the group chat, and thats where it ends, NEWSFLASH thats not your friend ! They don’t know what makes you cry when you’re alone. They don’t know how to deal with you when you’re angry, They aren’t someone you would get out of bed for at 3am. etc.  They were just an acquaintance, Not a friend. Let’s stop confusing the two.

THERE’S NO EFFORT BEING MADE – Friendships, just like relationships require some type of effort. Not just making plans and flopping the day of. It requires mutually being there for each other when the sun is shining bright or when the rain won’t stop. It takes work to keep the friendship strong and alive. As we get older and we go into different places in lives and our circles expand and it’s almost impossible to remain friends with everyone you considered a friend. It’s a great thought at first but sometimes other things/people will take precedence over others. If you try to give yourself to everyone you’ll never have time for yourself. In the end you have to make a decision as to who you want around for the long haul and who doesn’t make the cut.

THERE’S GRUDGES BEING HELD – humans can be the most pettiest people alive. No one is perfect and sometimes you or your friends are gonna fuck up and make a mistake (something done once is a mistake anytime after that is a choice BUT WHATEVER..) but sometimes your friends just can’t get over it. Everyone has a breaking point. Sometimes you’ll stop speaking to someone over something small or something big. It all depends on what you feel at the moment. But if the are someone you really consider a friend, why end the friendship over something that can be talked through. Communication is the key in any relationship, friendships included. We shouldn’t lose friends because we aren’t able to communicate effectively what we didn’t like. We’re human. Forgive and move on.

Obviously there are more reasons why we lose friendships as we grow older. But honestly sometimes it’s for the best.I haven’t always been the perfect friend, but thats okay. At every point in your life you are changing and growing. If the people around you aren’t helping contribute to the person you are trying to become, then they can go. Not everyone is meant to be down for the ride. Always remember to never compromise your values for anyone and stay true to whoever you are.

Comment below on reasons why you ended friendships, or left friendships.


2 thoughts on “Outgrowing Friendships & Why Its Okay…

  1. Wow. It’s amazing how much we think alike when we talk about friends. I started blogging just recently, because I separated myself from a couple “friends” and I needed a place to vent. …turns out they were never really my friends to begin with. Like you said– no effort. How can we call these people friends? Reading this comforts me because the reality is we all go through changes and sometimes, we lose friends along the way. I really enjoyed reading this. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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