Lifestyle

They Cheated..Now What?

Let’s be honest… well no. Let me be honest. I have had my fair share of relationships, situationships and all around whatever with people. I’m not gonna bash any of my ex’s in this post but they may feel a way of they read this. Oh well (lol). Now I’ve been cheated on (I’ve also done the cheating – I’m not perfect but whatever) probably more times than I can even remember. My problem is that I’m too forgiving. Always believing in second, third, fourth, even fifteen chances. But what happens when you can’t move past the Infidelity. From my experience (as I mentioned before I can only give you guys the real) I’ve come up with a few ways to get over a cheating partner.

DON’T WASTE TIME TRYING TO GET EVEN – this should be the most obvious. If you decide to stay, what’s the point. You cheating on your partner isn’t going to make you feel better (trust me I know). You waste so much time trying to make them hurt like you did, or make them feel the same pain of betrayal that you felt. It doesn’t make anything any easier.

If you decide to leave, again what’s the point. You’re leaving the relationship anyway, So why try and get even. You may think that by sleeping with their friend or someone close to them, that you may walk away feeling better. But honestly it makes you just as wack as they are for cheating. Just move on with your dignity in tact and level up. Make sure your next is better than your ex. That’s the best revenge you could ever get !

DON’T BLAME YOURSELF  – This is the most important. Its not your fault that they cheated. There’s nothing wrong with you! It’s easy to feel like something you did caused them to step out with someone else. Honestly if they cheated, chances are they needed no reason to do so except that THEY WANTED TO. The sooner you can understand this, it’ll make the healing process go quicker. Accept what happened, distance yourself from them until you get your emotions under control and then decide whats next.

Also don’t blame the person your partner cheated with. Your first instinct is to blame them and divert all your anger to them but honestly it’s not their fault. A lot of the time the person didn’t even know about you. But even if they did, they didn’t make a commitment to you. Your partner did. So all the anger and hurt should be directed towards them.

DON’T LET OTHERS INFLUENCE YOUR DECISION – Whether you choose to stay in your relationship or leave it alone, it’s up to you. Not your partner. Not your family. Not your friends. The decision is yours and yours alone to make. Now you’re not wrong for opening up to your circle of friends or bringing it up in the group chat to get your girls opinions. But do remember that once you tell everyone your business you allow them to have an opinion on the situation. Also remember that your friends and family want what’s best for you, but only you know what’s the best thing to do for you !

Last but not least

FORGIVE THEM !!!!!!! – this is one of the most important things that you can do for you as well. If you decide to stay, forgiveness is not going to come overnight. It’s going to take a while before all that hurt and anger is gone. But if you do decide to continue your relationship, you have to actually forgive them. Not bringing it up whenever you get into an argument. Not trying to make them jump through hoops to make things okay. You have to actually give them a chance to gain your trust back and make your relationship stronger.

If you decide to leave, you still have to forgive them. Holding on to all that hurt is only going to hinder your next relationship. That’s a set of baggage you don’t need to carry with you. Forgive them and move on and be better.

Honestly it took me a while to get over my ex who cheated. I thought I was over it when I really wasn’t. I prematurely forgave him when I wasn’t ready too. I thought that things would have been able to go back to how it was before everything happened but that wasn’t true. Although there is more to the story, I know what not to do next time. But hopefully now you do too.

Leave a comment below and let me know what steps you took if you were ever in this situation.

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